(1) Saved Draft

A letter never sent.

More likely, a letter never written. 

A song never sung though the vocal cords are worn out like an old pair of sneakers. 

A typewriter with a jam that can't be fixed, because it doesn't know what to say. 

A truth so sad that nobody could tell it. 

Nobody could tell it except him. 

Diamonds n' such.

As a human, I love gems. 

I love money. 

I love diamonds. 

I love emeralds. 

I love sapphires. 

I love rubies. 

But there's something about rubie's that will always be my favorite. 

I don't know if it's the color.. But that's something I definitely love. 

It could be the way it's always here for me. Because I'll always love rubies, and rubies will always love me.

I wish I still had a ruby. I wish I didn't sell mine. 

This post is titled time. Again.

Time and I have a love/hate relationship. 

I have so much of it.. But it seems like I have none. 

It goes by so fast. Yet it inches by like a caterpillar on a changing leaf. 

I always want it to be tomorrow. But I keep telling myself "I will, in time."

I want to be in control of time. To be able to bend it any way I want. To skip the days and live out my nights like I'm always in a dream.

I want to be able to jump right over the hours of my work, and stretch out the last 6 like the hugs I give when she's good to me.

I want more time to explore the world barefoot. But I want more time to spend indoors on the floor with my music. 

I want to become the best guitar player in the whole wide world. But I don't have the time to practice for it. 

Sometimes, time just makes me want to out a bullet through my skull. But other times, time makes me want to run as fast as A bullet. 

Sometimes, time is my best friend who I play Legos with. 

Sometimes, time is the friend who didn't want to play Legos, and wanted to build a future instead of a fortress. 

Right now, time and I are not on the best of terms. Right now it wants to build a future, and put a bullet in my skull. 

Right now, I want to take time right by the hands, and twist them counter-clockwise until they break on the 7:30. 

Time never waits. But that's okay because I don't wait for time. 

All of our lives are just one drop in the ocean. 

If the moon can turn the tides, it can take the tears and pull them from our eyes, and make them into monsoons. 

Time never waits. 

Reasons I'm Afraid to Fall In Love.

My brain works like.... like a huge company. Like Apple.

I get real sick of things real fast.

I've always got to be changing.

rearranging.

Adapting.

And because of this, I can't keep a wallpaper on my phone for more than about a week. I absolutely HATE that wallpaper and i need a new one now, before i throw my phone against the wall.

I have had my guitar for maybe a year. and it's never looked uglier. I need a new one.

I can't sign up for a two year contract! i can't handle having the same phone for two years!!

And this.

Is why I'm afraid

To fall in Love.







LOVE is not for the faint of heart.
Love is not for the people who can't even go a day without thinking of the past.
Love is for the people who can hold on for more than a few months.
For the people who have a good grip on a stable mentality.

Love is something that i don't understand. And i really wish i did. Because i think i am in love, but how can i be sure?

Love is for the painters who paint new paintings from a blank slate every time.

They never recreate a painting of the same girl jumping in a puddle.

They never paint their own photographs of the mountains.

Love is a sacrifice.

I AM the faint of heart. And THAT is why i'm afraid to fall in love.