Torture

I'm afraid to look to the sky, and I don't know why. 

I think it might be because I know I'll see God, and I won't be able to make eye contact because of my dirt ridden soul. 

I'm afraid that I'll get a drop of water in my eye, and heaven forbid they see me cry.

I learned my whole life to toughen up and no matter how sore it makes my throat, to hold back the tears because these grey clouds can't mean rain. We need shine from you, son.

Tonight

The young boy wants to move ahead
And the old man sings rewind
I wonder when in this time line
We’ll break to the other side

Maybe there’s a span of time
When we feel we’re neither nor
Not wanting to go back again
And not wanting to go forth

The point in life must be
Pretty dark and hopeless
Terrifying
And if you’re asking me when that is

It must be tonight

The old man sits all by himself
And thinks of better years
When he used to believe in stars
And would dream away his fears

The young boy moves so fast he doesn’t
See the stars above
And all his dreams are crushed by old men
Who didn’t dream enough

We must all agree
There’s a point in life when darkness breaks our
Brittle hopes and dreams
And I’d say

It must be tonight

Stay with me

And it must be tonight
It must be tonight
Save me tonight
It must be tonight

Just a thought

We tend to not like what we don't understand. That would explain a lot about myself 

Gone, gone, gone.

He wore his heart stitched to his short sleeve shirt where everyone could see his scars from past love. 

She wore her heart so deep beneath her bones that nobody could see her soul, even when they looked her in the eye. 

He wrote day in and day out because his love was so full that his mouth was bursting at the seams with what to say. 

She said nothing at all. 

His wearing his heart outside of his chest really made things complicated, because in the hallway as he sprinted, he'd brush up against other people, wearing out the stitched on patch he called his heart. And it's almost like when he brushed shoulders with her, that it finally just

Fell off. 

And as it slowly drifted to the ground like a snowflake in a calm snow storm, she tried her best to catch it, accidentally letting it slip through her beautiful hands and onto the cold, cold concrete. As he scrambled to pick it up, they must have made eye contact, because the heart he was bending to grasp had melted beneath his feet, sliding through the cracks into the dark soil below, never to be found. 

Trust me.

Don't put your happiness in other people's hands. They'll drop it. They drop it every time. 

I got lost along the way.

Give me back the summer of '13. When the only thing we worried about was if we worked together that night. 

I want a summer where my chest isn't split in two, and where every time I close my eyes, I don't see bad thoughts, only her. 

Let me look at my story and not feel my heart getting hammered down into my aching stomach. 

Take me back to then, when I didn't have to hide every one of my feelings because I was afraid of losing her. 

I want to experience what it's like to be wanted again, and what it's like to have someone tell me yes for the first time since August 27th of 2013. 

I want to drive the canyon without having to hold back tears because of the memories I miss from there. 

I want to stop burning down like a mansion, because the bigger they are, the harder they fall, and I've fallen far too hard, and my veneer framework wasn't made to burn, it was made for a family, a heart and a mind to work together, but this house is a broken home and I can't seem to get pills for my heart, because my mom thinks I just need to sleep more, but I can't because I can't unscramble my brain, it's like an egg just sizzling on the pan when my egg shell skull 

Crack

         Crack

                   Cracks

And my brain just oozes out onto the pan, into your hands where I can just slip through the holes, and onto the floor right where I started. 

Please just put Humpty Dumpty back together again. 

I don't need all the Kings horses. 

Or all the Kings men. 

I just need one person to please pick up my pieces and