All my friends are dead or really don't like me. Or maybe they never existed in the first place.
It's probably that one. They never existed. Because the ones who don't like that you're happy here and now are the ones who don't exist.
Because I'm happy here and now.
And I haven't been in a long time.
I just don't want to have to choose between the two. I want to live and be happy and free, to just talk endlessly into the nights while still having someone to see more than every other tiring day I have to wake up and live this endless nightmare.
I just want to talk it out through the tip of this pen to the Manila paper pages of my heart.
Can I just be happy? Because I'm almost there. All I need Is what it used to be. Because it's all I ever wanted.
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