What if I'm never happy again? When am I allowed to kill myself?

I think I could be diagnosed with depression. Because the mornings come too fast, and the night time comes too late. 

You took my heart and sewed it up and put it back in its place. 

But bane, by dear, you took it with you a hundred miles away and put it underneath the tire of your new Subaru. 

And I spend every day trying to cover up the cuts and holding back the tears I feel when someone even mentions your name. 

I try and tell myself I am happy with my selfish desires and hide behind my smile. 

But there's a gap between my teeth that my screams can escape through, and it's on this internet page. 

In that journal where you claimed I was the love of your life.

But the gap isn't big enough for you to hear the wind whistling through it unless you get close to my ribcage, where the ribs have been exposed. The wind sings its sad lullaby through my broken and hollow rib cage. 

And it hurts so much because all your best friends read this. 

And you can all see my pain physically and mentally

But all you can do is tell me to let my

Hopes down because I'll never get an apogy from you. 

And until then, I don't believe this man has changed you like they said.