It's a beautiful kind of pain

You've got them on your mind. It doesn't matter who they are, they're on your mind, and you don't know if it's good that they are. In my case, I hope it is, because I'm happy, and I'm always afraid that I can't be for too long. 

I'm afraid to paint because what if one of my colors bleeds into a darker one? I'm afraid that my blood will turn the yellow to orange, and then there won't be any medium to slow me down when I know I should. 

I know I'm happy right where I stand, on the edge of this cliff, holding your hand as tightly as a zipper, just praying that when I fall, you fall with me, so that the splash of hitting the water will hurt less than it would without someone to split the pain. Because the pain I feel that you feel, too, is a beautiful kinda pain. The kinda pain that makes you wanna climb to the top and Jump off together again, and this time maybe kiss on the way down. And if eventually, we die from hitting the water in the wrong way, at least I died happy, and that's all I want.