I have that empty feeling again

I don't know what to say anymore, because I'm so lost. I thought I knew what I want, happiness.

But all I do want is you. Whether that means my happiness or not. 

I'll give up a thousand lifetimes just to look into your eyes like I used to, because according to you, I got a glowing in mine, as if I looked unbelievably happy. 

And I can't think of any other way to explain it, other than my chest is a disease, and you are my vaccine. Because when I'm with you, the hole in my chest is filled to the brim with what I may consider love. 

Like my chasm is but a small crack in the sidewalk when I'm with you, because that glowing in my eyes is just my soul trying to see yours. 

But I don't know when I'll ever get it, because I want to give her a fair chance. Because I deserve more. But it's almost like I don't want more. I'm perfectly content putting up with my loneliness if it means I get to be as happy as I am when I'm with you.