Daymares

I have daymares. They're like daydreams

But nightmares. 

they send chills down my spine because they remind me of moments I wasn't even there for, 

And I put my hands in my face because I don't want my daymares to see me tremble the way I do, because that's how they know they've won.

I almost crash my car because of it, but sometimes I think it would be easier than feeling a constant numbness in my chest. 

And I don't find much to stay alive for, but I still do. I just can't help but plug my nose as this tidal wave crashes down on me, crushing me and hitting me like a ton of bricks or another wordless night. 

I always think it can't get worse, so I'm good right where I am, because it feels like it's not gonna get better. And the fact that my low expectations have saved my life is rather sad to me. But you know what they say:

Nothing kills man faster than his own head.